Updated January, 2015: Dig Dog technique now 76% effective against latest Panda updates
Google’s Panda update has sent shockwaves through the online world. The algorithm change has prompted a seismic shift within the search results, designed to kill off the hopes and dreams of thousands of content producers, also known as “writers.”
The main casualties have been so-called content farms: Suite101, Associated Content, Article Base and other such “mills.” High quality expert sites, such as StudioKnow, were, in general, unaffected.
In the midst of these changes, however, Google has shafted some smaller enterprises of notable worth, plunging them into the dark depths of the search results where they now linger, starved of air and readership. The risk of unwarranted collateral damage is real. Google’s Panda is relentless; some would even say rabid and slightly unhinged.
Protected Your Site from Google’s Panda
As noted, StudioKnow has escaped any unwarranted drop in the SERPs (Search Engine Results Pages); indeed, we have benefitted from the algorithm change. Why? Well, the site has a reputation for unique, in-depth and trustworthy articles. That alone, however, is not a secure defense against Google’s Panda. What we have done, and what we would recommend to you, is to adopt a little-known natural method: the jackal’s “dig dog” attack.
The Dig Dog Versus the Panda Algorithm
As our readers know, we are dedicated to the furtherance of human knowledge and the protection of the planet’s rainforests. Our green stance makes us very much at one with nature, and it is from nature that we learn to adapt. Our SEO team, reacting quickly to the Google update, immediately turned to the natural world for a solution. Here is what we found on the Pandas Live On website:
The unique hunting skill [of the jackal] is to climb onto the back [of the panda], gouge out the eyes first, then snap at the anus and pull the intestines out, which is called “dig dog”.
Turning this attack method into defense, our SEO experts quickly developed a multi-faceted plan…
Using the Jackal Attack Against Google’s Panda
How can we apply the “dig dog” to the online world? Our successful three-pronged attack/defense is as follows:
- Readership: while it is not advisable to gouge out the eyes of your readers before extracting their guts through the anal passage, there is nonetheless a lot to be learned from the jackal method. Like the jackal, we aggressively attacked our readers with enhanced subscription methods, a spate of newsletters and even more quality content. The Panda, now blinded by our non-search traffic, could not protect his rear.
- Google employees: as most webmasters already know, it is not easy to communicate directly with the upper echelons of the Google Empire. By relentlessly bombarding Google’s head office with “dig dog” threats and unsettling psychological practices (a severed panda hand sent to the office, a panda head placed at the foot of Matt Cutts’ bed) the kings of search eventually guaranteed StudioKnow protection against the Panda update. While we did not physically blind or anally-disembowel Cutts and co, we certainly scared them shitless.
- On-site protection: Google’s Panda algorithm now knows not to mess with StudioKnow. When the site is crawled, Google takes note of our Dig Dog sidebar block [removed August 1 – mission succesful], complete with crying panda. This tells the algorithm to treat the site with respect, or else fear the consequences. The good news is YOU CAN ALSO BENEFIT FROM THE DIG DOG. Simply place the “Dig Dog” phrase anywhere on your site, ideally on the homepage, along with the Sad Panda image (by Tkgd2007; Wikimedia Commons; public domain).
Even if Google’s Panda update has not yet affected your website or blog, the threat still exists. Furthermore, you may simply wish to protest the recent changes. Our content producers, for example, are mightily pissed off with the quality of the current search results. Multiple Yahoo Answers and scraper sites appearing on page one of the search results? It’s time to release the jackals…
Protect and protest against Google’s Panda! Dig Dog today!
Dude, you say, “StudioKnow has escaped any unwarranted drop in the SERPs” in Google’s Panda Massacre, but StudioKnow has a zero ranking from Google and Alexis ranking of over 8-million.
That’s about as low as you can go.
Google Pagerank? Alexis ranking? Maybe even Alexa ranking? Ha, I say! All are meaningless in this day and age.
The idea that StudioKnow is “as low as you can go” is a bit like saying “the Pope is Catholic” or that one day a black man will be President of the U.S.A. Improbable to the point of ridiculousness…
But thanks for the comment.
LOL, awesome get back, and very entertaining content, enjoyed the minutes I’ve spent here, though I don’t know where to breed a rabid dog to scare of the panda.
By the way, I borrowed the pic and posted it on my sidebar, perhaps it’ll stay for a week, to protect my site from stray pandas LOL. Loved this idea! Real great.
Your site looks good with the Panda Protection. One or two weeks should be OK. Google only needs to see the Panda once on your site – after that, you shouldn’t have any problems.
Google Panda is a nice thing. It will finely clean the bad article we find on the web. It will arrive in France in a few week I guess.
I agree, it is a good thing, at least in principle. The original launch was heavy handed, but it seems now to be a bit more refined. Hopefully the Panda will not affect quality sites when it arrives in France. Bonne chance!
That dog really scared the hell of the panda. Nice Panda Plague picture 🙂
Thanks Louie. We certainly gave the Panda a few things to worry about. It’s amazing what nature can teach us.
Ok is this article serious? Because I have been researching the google panda epidemic. So your telling me if I put the phrase “Dig Dog” on my homepage of my website and a picture of the crying panda that Google will not mess with me and give me a fair index? I don’t know but that is hard to believe. I could try it but seriously I just thought google wanted unique content and proper links instead of link farms.
Our research tells us that the Dig Dog technique continues to be effective. It is not a guarantee, but your chances of retaining a high standing in the eyes of Google will be improved by placing the image of the Crying Panda somewhere on your website or blog. Feedback tells us that the Dig Dog technique is 93% effective at holding positions within the SERPs.
Worked like a charm!!
That’s good to hear. Our latest research shows conclusively that the Dig Dog technique is 97% effective against any potentially negative ranking shifts following Panda 3.4. The same research also found that 92% of all SEO “gurus” had less than two friends.