Why has my cat stopped meowing?
Shy cats often make no sound at all, but might sometimes meow quietly to their imaginary friends. Photo by Luca Vanzella, flickr.com.

Why has my cat stopped meowing all of a sudden? And should I be concerned?

Well, cats communicate in various ways, through both physical actions and verbal sounds. Meowing is a cat’s main means of vocalization and an important sign of mental and physical health. If your cat has stopped meowing, it could indicate a number of potential issues.

Reasons Why Your Cat Has Stopped Meowing

There are a few potential reasons why your cat has stopped meowing (and perhaps stopped purring, too). These may include:

Cat Shyness:

Like humans, felines can suffer from acute shyness. When a cat is overcome by self-consciousness, it often loses its meow. Other symptoms include an inability to urinate in public and a general tendency to withdraw from social situations. Your cat might start reading 19th century philosophers for hours on end, meowing to no one.

Treatment: Progressive confidence boosting. You can empower your cat using reassuring words (“You can do it!” “You’re great!” “You rule!” etc) or through uplifting music. Do not engage in philosophical debates; that will only make things worse.

Cat Stress:

Cats can suffer from various forms of stress, including performance related stress (hunting and sexual), work related anxiety, and environmental fretfulness (typically brought on due to changes in the cat’s territorial habitat).

Cat stress is often exacerbated by peer pressure. Other cats despise flagrant displays of stress, seeing it as unbecoming to the species as a whole. A stressed cat is therefore often bullied by its peers. In 12% of cases, the stressed cat is cornered and insulted by other cats, which increases the stress cycle.

Treatment: Take your cat on holiday, ideally to a countryside location where it can kill countless numbers of small creatures (birds, mice, moles etc). Tension will soon dissipate once your cat tears up a few of God’s lesser beings.

Stressed cat
Stressed cats are sometimes shunned by their peers. Stress is released by killing small creatures. Photo by Jo Fothergill, flickr.com. 

Cat Depression:

A depressed cat never meows. When depressed, a cat’s shoulder and neck muscles slump to such a degree that they hinder the vocal chords, making meowing almost impossible. Cat depression is typically caused by a) a lack of sex b) constipation c) denial of a favored food (such as fish heads or Friskies Turkey and Cheese Dinner in Gravy) or d) troubling or overly erotic dreams.

Treatment: Various treatments exist, depending on the severity of the depression and your cat’s personality. Some vets will prescribe cat valium, ketamin, LSD or Prozac. Alternative therapies include cognitive behavioral therapy, cat yoga (available at the Cat’s Cradle Clinic in Beverly Hills) and electro-shock therapy (not recommended). In 86% of all cases, cat depression can be cured almost instantly with premium chicken jerky for cats.

Depressed cat
“This is not what I wanted from life.” Depressed cats need emotional support. Photo by Tara Sturm, flickr.com.

Silent Cat Protest:

Cats are stubbornly abusive creatures who are entirely accustomed to getting their own way. When a cat stops meowing, it’s often a simple case of silent protest. A cat knows that its silence will trouble you (which is why you’re reading this article), forcing you to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to rectify any potential cause of upset in the cat’s life.

Your cat probably wants something, although he or she will give you no clues at all about what it is he or she actually wants. He likes to see you fret and squirm.

Treatment: You could try ignoring the little fucker until he forgets about the silent protest. But outlasting a cat in psychological warfare is almost impossible. The best option is to give in and buy him something awesome, like a cat tree or a turbo scratcher cat toy. He’ll soon forget all of his complaints and start meowing again, at least for a few days.

Silent cat protest
A silent cat protest can last for weeks, especially if the cat believes you care. Photo by red.dahlia, flickr.com.

Your Cat Stopped Meowing Because It’s In Love

Oh boy, now you’ve got a problem. If your cat has fallen in love — especially if it’s unrequited love — he might stop meowing. This is especially common in young cats who have fallen in love for the first time. They might become moody, stop purring and start writing bad poetry. They might also start listening to Adele.

Treatment: If your cat has fallen in love with another cat, then it will resolve itself eventually, like a bad soap opera (or more likely a Mexican telenovela) but with more scratching. If your cat has fallen in love with a dog, which does happen occasionally, then your cat — and especially the dog — are in for a rough ride. Your cat will eventually decide that the dog is too stupid for a long lasting relationship, and will then dismiss the dog entirely and begin meowing again. This can take two weeks to a month. The dog, meanwhile, should keep a low profile until your cat loses interest.

To help your cat get over his lost love, buy him something awesome, like a Moody Pet Fling-Ama-String. He’ll soon forget the whole love thing.