The Halloween Penis Costume for Simple Adults

by | Lifestyle & Stuff | 1 comment

Halloween is kind of annoying, mainly because of all the dressing up bullshit. Sure, it’s fun when you’re all drunk and everything, but actually finding a costume is a huge pain in the rear.

And this is where the simple Halloween penis costume comes into play, so to speak.

The Halloween Penis Costume

This investment is sure to change your Halloween experience for many years to come. Once you’ve purchased a state-of-the-art, full-body cock suit with bulging balls, you’ll never need to worry about costumes again. And where can one purchase such a wonder?

Simple: You’ll find a whole bunch of penis costumes to choose from on

And not only will the penis costume transform you into a giant walking wanger, it will also give you sufficient arm room for unfettered beer drinking.

Of course, you don’t actually have to go out on Halloween in your new penis costume. You could just stay at home waiting for trick-or-treaters, answering your door dressed as a giant cock. I’m not sure how the local authorities would view such behavior, but it’s your damn house, so screw ’em.

And why even wait for Halloween? Any day of the year is a good day for dressing like a dick. Just ask Justin Bieber.

Customizing Your Penis Costume for Halloween

As noted above, the Halloween penis costume is great for any time of the year. For Halloween, you might want to jazz (or jizz) things up a bit. Adding masses of dirty, tangled hair to the balls is a great start. Ugly veins would also be an excellent addition.

If you want to make things more extreme, consider the following options:

  • Add tattoos or piercings to your penis to enhance the unclean look.
  • Use some polystyrene (or something similar) to add a jetting stream of spunk to your head. That will really scare the kids.
  • Get your friend or girlfriend to dress as a vagina and walk around town together. And if you’re wondering if vagina costumes exists, then yes, yes they do. You can buy a vagina costume on