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Updated January, 2015: Dig Dog technique now 76% effective against latest Panda updates

Google’s Panda update has sent shockwaves through the online world. The algorithm change has prompted a seismic shift within the search results, designed to kill off the hopes and dreams of thousands of content producers, also known as “writers.”

The main casualties have been so-called content farms: Suite101, Associated Content, Article Base and other such “mills.” High quality expert sites, such as StudioKnow, were, in general, unaffected.

In the midst of these changes, however, Google has shafted some smaller enterprises of notable worth, plunging them into the dark depths of the search results where they now linger, starved of air and readership. The risk of unwarranted collateral damage is real. Google’s Panda is relentless; some would even say rabid and slightly unhinged.

Protected Your Site from Google’s Panda

As noted, StudioKnow has escaped any unwarranted drop in the SERPs (Search Engine Results Pages); indeed, we have benefitted from the algorithm change. Why? Well, the site has a reputation for unique, in-depth and trustworthy articles. That alone, however, is not a secure defense against Google’s Panda. What we have done, and what we would recommend to you, is to adopt a little-known natural method: the jackal’s “dig dog” attack.

The Dig Dog Versus the Panda Algorithm

As our readers know, we are dedicated to the furtherance of human knowledge and the protection of the planet’s rainforests. Our green stance makes us very much at one with nature, and it is from nature that we learn to adapt. Our SEO team, reacting quickly to the Google update, immediately turned to the natural world for a solution. Here is what we found on the Pandas Live On website:

The unique hunting skill [of the jackal] is to climb onto the back [of the panda], gouge out the eyes first, then snap at the anus and pull the intestines out, which is called “dig dog”.

Turning this attack method into defense, our SEO experts quickly developed a multi-faceted plan…

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Using the Jackal Attack Against Google’s Panda

How can we apply the “dig dog” to the online world? Our successful three-pronged attack/defense is as follows:

  • Readership: while it is not advisable to gouge out the eyes of your readers before extracting their guts through the anal passage, there is nonetheless a lot to be learned from the jackal method. Like the jackal, we aggressively attacked our readers with enhanced subscription methods, a spate of newsletters and even more quality content. The Panda, now blinded by our non-search traffic, could not protect his rear.
  • Google employees: as most webmasters already know, it is not easy to communicate directly with the upper echelons of the Google Empire. By relentlessly bombarding Google’s head office with “dig dog” threats and unsettling psychological practices (a severed panda hand sent to the office, a panda head placed at the foot of Matt Cutts’ bed) the kings of search eventually guaranteed StudioKnow protection against the Panda update. While we did not physically blind or anally-disembowel Cutts and co, we certainly scared them shitless.
  • On-site protection: Google’s Panda algorithm now knows not to mess with StudioKnow. When the site is crawled, Google takes note of our Dig Dog sidebar block [removed August 1 – mission succesful], complete with crying panda. This tells the algorithm to treat the site with respect, or else fear the consequences. The good news is YOU CAN ALSO BENEFIT FROM THE DIG DOG. Simply place the “Dig Dog” phrase anywhere on your site, ideally on the homepage, along with the Sad Panda image (by Tkgd2007; Wikimedia Commons; public domain).

Even if Google’s Panda update has not yet affected your website or blog, the threat still exists. Furthermore, you may simply wish to protest the recent changes. Our content producers, for example, are mightily pissed off with the quality of the current search results. Multiple Yahoo Answers and scraper sites appearing on page one of the search results? It’s time to release the jackals…

Protect and protest against Google’s Panda! Dig Dog today!

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The Great Google Panda Plague of 2011