Things to do when you're bored online

Bored online? Don’t worry, the internet has plenty of random things for you to do. Original photo by Ryan Summers, flickr.com.

Due to the slightly disconcerting popularity of 50 Things to Do When You’re Bored at Home (are people really that bored?), StudioKnow has decide to give you an alternate list of things to do: the imaginatively titled 50 Things to Do When You’re Bored Online.

Some would call this cashing-in on previous successes. That’s exactly what we call it, so that’s just fine.

Anyway, here’s some stuff for all you pathetically bored people out there. Because we care about you, we’ve tried to include a few things that might actually help you learn. Learning, for those of you who have yet to realize, is the process of putting stuff in your brain in the hope that it might stick and perhaps one-day be useful…

Things to Do When You’re Bored Online

OK people, here’s our list of 50 things to do when you’re bored online. Dive in, good luck, and may the minutes pass with pleasurable velocity….

  1. Stare at a trippy illusion then watch the world warp. You could also stare at it for way longer than recommended then run out into the street like a lunatic (and puke).
  2. Explore the scale of the universe (this is one of those learning things, but it’s still pretty damned awesome)
  3. Learn how to play the Wiki Game, where you’ll try to get from the Kim Kardashian entry to the Hitler entry or from Armageddon to Kermit the Frog. Here at the office we like to hit “Random article” on the Wikipedia homepage and see how fast we can get to Vlad the Impaler.
  4. Email your friends and challenge them to a mustache growing competition. Then spend hours looking at photos of awesome mustaches to help you decide what style to go for. Girls will have to skip this one unless they are blessed with extensive facial hair.
  5. Learn the nine ninja hand signs of the Kuji-in.
  6. Register to be a TV or movie extra on a website like Central Casting (with plenty more sites out there in Googleland — just don’t get scammed if they ask for money).
  7. Read a serious academic paper about the outbreak of a zombie infection (PDF).
  8. Buy something stupid online. Yeah, it’s not an instant boredom-killer, but at least it’ll give you something to look forward to.
  9. Watch some of the world’s best, weirdest or most boring webcam feeds like the Statue of Liberty, the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel, the Abbey Road crossing, live video from the International Space Station and the ScanMichigan live police scanner.
  10. Play TypeRacer.
  11. Give yourself a fantastic new look with Virtual Makeover (free version gives you about 10 beautiful makeover choices) then share it on the StudioKnow Facebook page. We tried this with Donald Trump (see below). The results were disturbing.
  12. Trawl through endless amounts of music online to find awesome new tunes. We use YouTube, Spotify and Deezer.
  13. Stare at the screen and cry.
  14. Read the greatest poem ever written.
  15. Sell random things on eBay, like childhood toys, used underwear (popular in Japan) or your grandparents.
  16. Learn how to be cool on Facebook.
  17. Explore the universe with the three-dimensional space simulator Celestia.
Bored online makeover

We tried to make President Trump physically less vile with an online makeover. We failed.

  1. Play Kitten Cannon — it’s good for at least five minutes and the music is pretty groovy.
  2. Go to www.gizoogle.net and search for anything — ideally something serious like the latest news headlines. Enjoy dat shiznit, biatches.
  3. Enjoy one of the most worthy internet sensations of all time: a video of the Squeaky Namaqua Rain Frog.
  4. This is possibly the most pointless way of wasting time ever, despite all the pointing: www.pointerpointer.com.
  5. Look at some perfectly timed photos.
  6. Watch planes flying all across the globe on www.flightradar24.com.
  7. Video: North Korea tells its people how North Americans live today = GENIUS.
  8. We love Mars (the planet) here at StudioKnow. You should love Mars too. Explore it here.
  9. Learn the 47 Eskimo words for snow.
  10. Discover hours of location-guessing fun with GeoGuessr. Best played drunk with friends. Here in the StudioKnow office we sometimes get drunk and play strip GeoGuessr.
  11. Slap a man with an eel.
  12. If you’re a gormless pillock and all this is plain cobblers to you, then you probably need to read this list of British insults.
  13. Zoom into a weird and infinite world with The Zoomquilt.
  14. Put your face onto your pet with Petswitch.
  15. Do you ever find yourself doubting certain elements of the Bible or belief in God in general? Maybe it’s time to let Christopher Hitchens into your life
  16. Mess around with some free music tools. The Sequence drum machine and the Key Chords are fun for a while.
  17. Cruise around some 360° panoramas here and here.
  1. Quirkology — learn tricks, impress, win bets, get laid. Perfect.
  2. Write rude poems on Twitter, give them appropriate hashtags, then send them out into the Twitter void. Believe me, there’s something extremely satisfying about posting rude poems on Twitter.
  3. Talk to random strangers on Omegle. Sound weird? Yeah, it’s totally creepy.
  4. Become an ordained, licensed minister in the Universal Life Church Monastery. Seriously, do this and you can actually marry people — legally! Looks like you have to pay US$7.99 to get the official certificate, but think how much fun you can have when you and your friends are all drunk.
  5. This is weird. Play with a head.
  6. Use the comments section below to practice insulting people without using any foul language (no sh*t, f**k, c***, etc). It’s a dying art, unfortunately. Here’s how to play: start your insult with “I despise you, you….” For example, “I despise you, you gut-wrenching travesty of a goat’s back passage.” I shall give all insults a rating out of 10.
  7. Find out who’s buried near you with Find A Grave.
  8. OK, this one definitely isn’t for under-18s, so adults only please. For over-the-top erotica at the click of a button, try the Fifty Shades Generator.
  9. Become a squirrel with a laser gun.
  10. Google Maps is awesome. Check this out.
  11. Register a few dollar bills on Where’s George?, the United States currency tracking project.
  12. Waste hours of your life playing Stronghold Kingdoms. OK, we’re not going to mention any more games — any fool can do a Google search for free games to play online when they’re bored.
  13. Find out what color you are with StudioKnow’s World Skin Tone Chart.
  14. Make a real game-changer of a comment on your Facebook wall for all your friends to see. It has to be something scandalous or momentous like “Everybody, I want you to know that I’m gay/bisexual/going to jail/becoming a Mormon.” Sit, wait, and see what kind of reactions you get. Keep the lie going for as long as you can.
  15. Share some more cool things to do when you’re bored online in the comments section below. Feel free to link to a website or webpage — but we’ll delete all comments that we think are unworthy. Yep, we’re mean like that.
  16. If you’re still bored after all those suggestions, we suggest you go to the Death Clock and find out exactly how many seconds you have left to live. It’s a great motivator….

Now You Tell Us What to Do When Bored Online….

Still bored? Give us some more stuff to do online when you’re bored and we’ll start making a second list of your suggestions. Make ’em good suggestions, or we’ll ignore you completely. Thanks!