Do Gay People Go to Hell?

In order to examine the issue of gay people and hell, we will temporarily accept that hell does actually exist.

Of course, most reasonable people will argue that gay people can’t go to hell — or, indeed, heaven — because there is no such thing. In that case, most gay people will eventually die and become worm food just like straight people, lesbians, ladyboys, pre-op transvestites etc.

do gays go to hell

The fiery depths of hell: not a great place to be.

Gays, the Doors of Heaven and the Depths of Hell

Assuming that the fiery depths of hell do exist, then are all gays destined to burn for eternity in excruciating agony?

Well, no, they are not. Despite what some religious fuckwits may say, homosexuals are surely entitled to spend the rest of eternity in heaven, hanging out with God and His angels, dressing in white, and banging other gays ad infinitum.

Does God Love Gay People?

God, in all His wisdom and mercy, never said that He had a major issue with bum fun. The Ten Commandments have no fine print wherein God stipulates, “Gays can ignore all the above commandments because they will all burn in hell anyway.”

If God is straight, then He, like other straight men, probably can’t stand the sight of two dudes kissing (hot lesbians, yes; hairy men, no). Considering that God made all of us — the gays, the straights, the confused — He must be reasonably tolerant towards human sexual preferences.

After all, He wasted no time wiping out the dinosaurs during the Seven Days of Creation. If gays were a mistake, God would have destroyed Greece a long time ago…

Is God Mildly Homophobic?

Can you imagine Elton John turning up at the gates of heaven, only to see a “No Gays Allowed” sign condemning him to an eternity in the depths of hell? Of course not, that would be so unfair — he wrote “Rocket Man,” for Christ’s sake, surely that’s a pass?

And even if God is mildly homophobic, you’d still think He’d be able to accommodate a heavenly gay community. Creating a separate Gay Heaven would be kind of unfair and segregationist, but anything’s better than hell (and a Gay Hell is just unthinkable).

Gays and Hell: In Conclusion…

In conclusion, homosexuals do not need to worry about the afterlife. If there is a hell — however unlikely that may be — gay people will not go there (with the exception of thoroughly evil gays, who will).

Are you a gay person? Are you a religious nutcase? Great! Tell us what you think about gays and hell in the comments box below.

  6 comments for “Do Gay People Go to Hell?

  1. March 24, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    I believe everyone is given a choice to choose including their sexuality.Who are we to condemn when we our selves have skeletons in our closets.We are not given the permission by God or anyone to judge our feloow man.Leave our ‘supreme being’to do his job.

    • Dee
      July 24, 2012 at 8:00 am

      I’m sorry to disappoint you Anderson. But being gay is not a choice. Scientists are actually studying and discovering a gay gene. I’m a gay male, and as early as i could remember, i was attracted to guys. It’s really not a choice. The only choice i make is doing the deed (having sex), now that’s a choice. But you can’t choose what you’re attracted to.

  2. Brian
    September 17, 2012 at 11:23 pm

    My favorite thing to say to Christians is that, “God planned every day of your life, so he planned for you to be gay.” And if we are all the image of God, then technically, that makes God gay, and we’re all burning in Hell.

    Please keep writing more awesome stuff.

  3. Jessica
    November 27, 2012 at 6:32 am

    God created us all, so he therefore created gays?

  4. Me
    November 11, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    (lesbian) as long as my girlfriends there with me I don’t carewhere we go… The devils afraid of me anyway though ;-)

    • November 12, 2013 at 8:10 am

      That’s the spirit! That would also be an awesome movie. Two lesbians get sent to hell and battle against the Devil so they can earn the chance to explain themselves to God. Sweet.

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