Do rabbits lay eggs or give birth?

How many eggs do rabbits lay at a time? And why are their eggs so damn colorful?

Believe it or not, a popular questions among Google users is “Do rabbits lay eggs or give birth?”

This question is just begging for an answer, so here we go: No, rabbits do not lay eggs. If you’re wondering how may eggs do rabbits lay at a time, the answer is zero. None. Nil. Where do rabbits lay their eggs? Nowhere, that’s where.

Rabbits, like humans, are mammals. Most mammals do not lay eggs, they give birth to tiny little babies that drop out covered in slime and goo.

In fact, only five mammal species lay eggs. These are the totally messed-up and confused duck-billed platypus, and four species of echidna, commonly known as spiny anteaters. All of these egg-laying mammals are freaks of nature. Unsurprisingly, most of them live in Australia and New Guinea.

Why Do People Think Rabbits Lay Eggs?

A concrete source exists for all this confusion about egg-laying rabbits.

The confusion stems from the frankly bizarre religious practice known as Easter. Easter began as a fairly simple religious thing, but has since become a hallucinatory descent into the very depths of human strangeness (a bit like Christmas).

Most people have forgotten what Easter is all about, which is probably a good thing. Easter is a celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ, a mythical character a bit like Superman, but not as muscular. Jesus Christ was God’s son, sort of. He had long hair and could turn water into wine.

Anyway, modern society has turned his miraculous resurrection into an excuse for eating chocolate. Specifically, chocolate covered eggs and, to a lesser extent, chocolate covered rabbits. Whatever, there’s a whole rabbit/egg thing going on.

So… considering the heinous lies that parents tell their children, it’s not surprising that some people get confused about rabbits and eggs.

But when people grow up, they normally realize that the chocolate eggs are not laid by the rabbits.

The chocolate eggs are because Jesus came back to life, and so are the rabbits. Jesus died and was put in a cave. Then he came out of the cave. Kind of like a rabbit coming out of its hole. But in this case, a zombie rabbit.

So, more than 2,000 years later, we hide eggs in the garden and eat shit loads of chocolate and give each other cards with rabbits on them because some guy came back from the dead and then disappeared again forever.

And that’s why people get confused. Understandable, really.

In conclusion, if you’re asking “do rabbits lay eggs or give birth?” the answer is most certainly the latter. They give birth. They do not lay chocolate eggs.

An Easter-rabbit-egg hybrid thing. Jesus Christ, no wonder people get confused. Photo by, Wikimedia Commons.