The Flying Fuck Helicopter: Remote Controlled Genius

There are things in life that every self-respecting person should possess. You know, things like ninja throwing stars and ForkChops. Well, there’s a new kid on the block: a remote controlled helicopter that could well change your life…

Introducing the Flying Fuck Helicopter

We’re all adults here – apart from the kids, of course – so we will remove the * from F*CK because, let’s face it, you don’t have to be a Dan Brown character to decipher what the * means. Anyway, yeah, back to the awesomeness that is the Flying F*CK R/C Helicopter. Here she is, with the “U” blanked out to protect today’s fragile youth:

Isn’t she beautiful? Yep, she is. This little flying fucker has two-channel control, so it basically hovers while slowly moving forward. You, the brave pilot, can control the hover and the right and left turns. Don’t expect high-octane loops and dives; at only $19.99, the helicopter is built for subtlety and strategic maneuvers rather than full-on combat.

Dropping the F-Bomb

If you’re wondering why the Flying Fuck Helicopter is essential, you obviously have the imagination of a block of tofu. Let’s highlight some of the key remote controlled applications:

  • School / College: Gently drift the helicopter past a packed classroom or, even better, past the window of your principal’s office. Don’t blame us if you’re expelled – practice your technique before the flight and hide yourself well during the operation.
  • Work: A recent survey revealed that 92% of bosses are egomaniacal pedants. Deliver your boss a fly-by fuck and put a smile on your face.
  • Home: Are you bored at home? With the Flying Fuck Helicopter you can have hours of fun annoying your neighbors, terrifying small children and delivering a stealth fuck to passing policemen. Awesome.
  • Church: Crouch behind a bush near the entrance of your local church. Half way through one of those “God is great / Jesus rules / Burn in hell” songs, fly the little fucker slowly through the entrance and down the central aisle towards the priest / bishop / Pope or whatever. Get ready to run, because religious types are incredibly dangerous. Whatever you do, do not accidently fly the fucker into a funeral. That would be sick and wrong.

The Fuck Helicopter: Essential

It’s fairly obvious that the Flying Fuck Helicopter is essential, and would make a perfect gift or a personal purchase. At only $19.99, you could even buy a mini-fleet of choppers and fly them down the street in classic Apocalypse Now style, accompanied, of course, by Richard Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries. Man, that would be an awesome YouTube video…


“Outstanding, Red Team, outstanding! Get you a case of beer for that one.” Apocalypse Now.

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