An inordinate amount of tourists visit Britain each year, flying into Heathrow or Gatwick eager to explore England and the rest of the United Kingdom. It is a land rich in history, peopled by a race known for their sophisticated ways, honourable demeanour and courage in the face of adversity.

However, there are parts of Britain that you should avoid. These regions, generally considered to be the worst places in the UK, have never quite delivered and continue to offer little to the cultured traveller.

Scotland, one of the worst places in the UK

A typical scene in modern Scotland.

Scotland: Sadly One of the Worst Places in the UK

Scotland is a rather special place for outdoor pursuits, particularly hunting and fishing. The gillies are fantastic, if somewhat monosyllabic, and both deer and salmon are available for sport.

However, all urban areas in Scotland are frightfully uncouth no matter what the size. The Scots themselves are the problem, of course, largely due to a quirk of fate that has left them all dangling from the lower rungs of civilization. Perhaps, at some distant juncture, they will advance both mentally and physically, but for the time being they remain somewhat barbaric. A great shame, really.

Ireland: Two Parts of the UK to Avoid

To be unashamedly frank, I haven’t the foggiest idea as to what exactly the Irish do. They seem to fight among themselves frequently, in between bouts of singing, dancing and unfathomable conversation. Fishing in Ireland is good, if not spectacular, but the whole place is just devoid of reason.

Furthermore, they have somehow managed to split their little island in two. This division has formed the quaintly-named “Republic of Ireland” and a supposedly separate entity known as “Northern Ireland” (I believe that one of the two is sometimes called “Eire,” though I have no idea why).

I have been told that one of these regions uses the Euro, if you can believe that! Well, one may chuckle, but if ever there was a reason to avoid a part of Britain, the use of this European currency is certainly it. You may as well go to France. Ha ha! Perish the thought; that’s enough to make one shudder!

Wales: Probably the Worst Place in the UK

Wales is a land of squat, humourless poachers, the inevitable upshot of which makes it no longer viable for fishing by fly or worm. The shooting prospects, meanwhile, are limited to rabbits, badgers and the locals themselves. A frightful state of affairs, it really is.

They are a dark nation, cursed by an ugly native tongue which most of them cannot speak. Sadly, few Welsh speak intelligible English either, making conversation a complete shot in the dark.

Honestly, I cannot see how an English principality could fall so far behind the rest of the country in terms of technology, culture and education. One would imagine that it is simply a lost cause, a land no longer worth pursuing.

If you do find yourself crossing the Severn into this barren land, be sure to take your most able hunting mates (and plenty of cartridges) to help you on your way. Safety is an issue, especially in the local public houses. Do not eat the food, and keep an eye on your dogs.

Wales, one of the worst places in the UK

A photo of Welsh women in 2016.