So, you want to join the Illuminati? Well, there are many sham Illuminati websites lurking on the World Wide Web. Only one, however, shows the authority and professionalism expected from the world’s most powerful secret organization, an elite secret society with a long history of intrigue at the highest level of global politics. The illuminati-order.com website is the real deal, believe me.
“But how can I join the Illuminati?” you may ask. Read on, my friends, and I shall guide you through the application process.
Important update: The Illuminati Order (illuminati-order.com) has decided to abandon the Illuminati name and its former web presence. I have been asked to reveal no more details at the current time. I can say, however, that the membership application process as noted below does still exist. You can complete each of the following questions (highlighted in bold) and post them onto your own Facebook page (public) or simply mail them to “Illuminati Order” — the Order will see you application, I assure you.
Joining the Illuminati New World Order
Now that you know where the true Illuminati web presence can be found, you can go ahead with the application process. The following guidelines will help you fill out the Illuminati membership application correctly, increasing your chances of being accepted into this incredibly secret society.
Do not send submissions to — or seek further advice from — StudioKnow. You will not receive a response. If you require further instructions about emailing your membership application to illuminati-order.com, please read How to Contact the Illuminati.
Illuminati Membership: Application Form
First things first: do not lie on your Illuminati application form. The Illuminati will know everything about you, and what they don’t know, they will find out. However, remember that things may not be what they seem. The application process is a test; you must demonstrate both your cunning and your intelligence in your answers. If you are asked for money at any point during or after the application process, be careful — is it a test? Maybe you should refuse in order to earn respect…
It is a balancing act, and one that I shall lead you through right now. The questions below are those that appear on the real Illuminati membership form. I shall now show you how best to complete the form in order to join the Illuminati.
Give an honest answer here. Write your name in full, exactly as it appears on your passport or other legal document. A lie here would be fatal. Remember, you cannot dupe the Illuminati. However, this opening question is an opportunity to make your application stand out. Consider the following: “My name is ______, but my heart beats in secrecy; I am nameless and faceless in my passion for the New World Order.”
2. Preferred pseudonym:
Choose your pseudonym carefully. Avoid using things like “*i<3justinbieber*”, “foxylady69” or >TrOlL666< – this is not a sign-up form for an internet forum. Have a look at the Initial Membership List of the Bavarian Illuminati for some Illuminati-style names. Historical pseudonyms are good; Spartacus, Cicero or anything else kind of old and foreign-sounding.
3. Preferred email address:
Again, no lies here. However, consider creating a new email address exclusively for Illuminati affairs. This will show a high level of awareness when the Illuminati board hack your account after receiving your application.
4. Telephone number, including country code:
Enter this correctly. If you are incapable of finding out your country’s code, you are not a suitable candidate for the Illuminati.
5. Complete mailing address, including country:
Now, this could well be a test question. Giving away too much private information, especially your actual home address, is sloppy. Consider creating an alternative mailing address using an anonymous storage or PO box. The Illuminati will be impressed with your secrecy.
6. Other contact information (instant messenger, alternate email, etc.):
This is a trick question. Again, it is simply too much information to give away, and Illuminati members use encrypted codes for communication purposes – they do not send each other emoticons via instant messenger. What you should specify is a drop spot (for receiving secret documents, swords, daggers and poison darts) and a secure meeting point.
Only list a personal website if it enhances your intellectual or financial status. If you have a fan blog about Natalie Portman, do not include it. If you run a website selling sex aids, do not include it. If you have a blog about radical politics, conspiracy theories or banking, definitely include it.
8. Current citizenship:
Give your legal citizenship, but be sure to follow it with an expansive statement regarding your global status. In order to help govern world affairs, you need to demonstrate a global mentality. Therefore, consider writing something like: “Belgian (fraternal citizen of the World, a brother in arms to the New World Order).”
9. Spoken languages:
List the languages you speak. Include the “Language of Love” and the “Language of Persuasion.” If you wish to join the Illuminati, you should already be studying Latin and Esperanto, a fact you would be wise to mention.
10. Written languages:
As above. If you know how to write coded or encrypted messages, include that information here. If you understand Illuminati symbolism, be sure to mention it.
11. Educational history, including formal and informal instruction:
List your educational history, just as you would on a CV. Informal instruction details are vital. Have you studied Kung Fu from a master sensei? Have you learned the art of pick-pocketing from an old street hustler? Have you mastered the art of seduction from a legendary mistress of the night? That is what you need to include here.
If you work in Burger King, explain why. Maybe you like to watch the dregs of society in order to understand the rich patterns of human behavior? Perhaps you are trying to keep a low profile, away from big business headhunters? If you are a CEO of a major company, however, you don’t have to add anything beyond your current position.
13. Past occupations:
List all the things that you have done in your lifetime for which you have been paid money (or, more correctly, “obtained” money). The Illuminati wants people with initiative, so don’t skip a thing. Did you once give head to an old man for a much needed $10? Have you ever stolen from the weak or defenseless in order to survive? You should not be ashamed of actions such as these; life is not a game, nor is the New World Order.
Again, be thorough. You should list every single talent that you have, however insignificant it may seem to you. The Illuminati has diverse needs, so your diversity will get you noticed.
Don’t hold back, list them all – however perverse they may be. The Illuminati has many needs.
16. Based on your current understanding, what is the purpose of the Illuminati Order?
Read the illuminati-order.com “About Us” page and the Wikipedia entry for the Illuminati. For more information, read the books featured on this page. Once you have digested and fully understood this information, write an intelligent response to the above question.
17. Do you agree with the purpose of the Illuminati Order, as you understand it?
Of course you do.
18. Why do you want to be a member of the Illuminati Order?
Joining the Illuminati is not about getting laid. It helps, obviously, but that should not be your main motivation. Change, social justice, brotherly love and the glorious New World Order should be your goals.
19. Are you interested in being contacted by other members?
This is a loaded question, so tread carefully. Most members closely guard their true identities, and idle gossip and chitchat is frowned up. State that you only want to be contacted by other members when it serves the greater goal of the Illuminati Order.
20. Provide a recent photograph of yourself.
Make it mysterious. If you have a photo showing you with a powerful figure (Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Paulo Coelho, Lady Gaga or Bill Gates) then use it. They could well be members themselves.
How to Join the Illuminati: Full Disclosure
Please note that I receive $10 in Illuminati Amazon.com Club Card points for every person I successfully recruit. Furthermore, I only need to recruit 57 more members before being awarded an “Illuminati Recruiter Badge” on my secret public profile. If you have followed these instructions and have been accepted to the Illuminati, please let me know in the comments section below. If you have any more questions about how to join the Illuminati, feel free to ask.
Thank you, my friends. I wait with longing for the dawn of the New World Order.