Do you want to join the Illuminati? Well, tread carefully my friends, as there are many fake Illuminati websites lurking on the World Wide Web, most of which have been designed with the low and dishonorable aim of taking your money.
And hear this: The most powerful secret organization in the world, this elite secret society with a long history of intrigue at the highest level of global politics, has no obvious online presence.
“But then, how can I join the Illuminati?” you may ask.
Well, the Illuminati — the real Illuminati — does accept membership applications. But, and this may seem strange in today’s digital world, the Illuminati membership application process is done in the most traditional manner: with pen, paper and the global postal system.
Below, we shall talk about applying to join the Illuminati using the official application form. First, therefore, please click on the image below to receive your blank Illuminati application form:
Now that you have found the link to the Illuminati membership application form, you can go ahead with the application process. Please print out and complete the form. The following guidelines will help you fill out the Illuminati membership form correctly, increasing your chances of being accepted into the secret society.
For instructions on mailing your Illuminati membership form, please read How to Contact the Illuminati.
How to Fill Out the Illuminati Membership Application Form
First things first: do not lie on your Illuminati application form. What the Illuminati does not know about you now, it will know in the future if you are accepted.
Furthermore, remember there are infinite ways to answer the questions in the application. Forget about what you know of “wrong” and “right.” The application process is, in part, a test, in which you can demonstrate both cunning and intelligence in your answers.
It is a balancing act, and one I shall guide you through now. The questions below are the same as those that appear on the official Illuminati membership form (see image link above). I shall now show you how to complete the form in order to apply to join the Illuminati.
Give an honest answer here. Write your name in full, exactly as it appears on your passport or other legal document. Do not lie. Remember, you cannot trick the Illuminati. The opening question is, however, an opportunity to make your application stand out. Consider introducing yourself with flair, for example (and do not copy this): “My name is _______________, but my heart beats in secrecy; I am nameless and faceless in the eyes of the New World Order.”
Choose your pseudonym carefully. Please do not use childish things like “*i<3justinbieber*”, “foxylady69” or >TrOlL666< – the Illuminati is not an internet forum. Have a look at the Initial Membership List of the Bavarian Illuminati for some classic Illuminati-style names. Historical pseudonyms are good; Spartacus, Cicero or anything else old and foreign-sounding.
Preferred email address:
Again, do not lie here. Consider creating a new email address exclusively for Illuminati affairs. This will show a high level of security awareness. The Illuminati will hack your account if they are considering your application (you will not be aware of this if it happens).
Telephone number, including country code:
Enter this correctly. If you are incapable of finding out your country’s telephone code, you are not a suitable candidate for the Illuminati.
Complete mailing address, including country:
Giving away too much private information, especially your actual home address, is sloppy. Consider creating an alternative mailing address using an anonymous storage or PO box. The Illuminati will be impressed with your secrecy. Your home address will suffice if no alternatives exist.
Other contact information (alternate email, etc.):
Is this a trick question? Illuminati members use encrypted codes for online communication purposes – they do not send each other emoticons via Facebook chat (despite owning Facebook). Do they really want to know your Facebook or LinkedIn profile address? You decide. Consider specifying a physical drop spot location (for receiving secret documents, weapons etc.) and a secure meeting point.
Only list a personal website if it enhances your intellectual or financial status. If you have a fan blog about Natalie Portman, do not include it. If you run a website selling sex aids, do not include it. If you have a blog about radical politics, conspiracy theories or banking, definitely include it.
Give your legal citizenship, but be sure to follow it with an expansive statement regarding your global status (learning how to join the Illuminati is all about wise choices and deep understanding of the Order’s goals). In order to help govern world affairs, you need to demonstrate a global mentality. Therefore, consider writing something like: “Belgian (but a fraternal citizen of the World, a brother in arms to the New World Order).”
List the languages you speak. If you wish to join the Illuminati, you should already be studying a second or third language, a fact you would be wise to mention.
As above. If you know how to write coded or encrypted messages, include that information here. If you understand Illuminati symbolism, be sure to mention it here.
Educational history, including formal and informal instruction:
List your educational history, just as you would on a CV. Include all forms of instruction that you have received, both traditional and non-traditional. Have you studied Kung Fu from a master sensei? Have you learned the art of pick-pocketing from an old street hustler? Have you mastered seduction from a legendary mistress of the night? That is what you need to include here.
If you work in Burger King, explain why. Maybe you like to watch the dregs of society in order to understand the rich patterns of human behavior? Perhaps you are trying to keep a low profile, away from big business headhunters? If you are a CEO of a major company, however, you don’t have to add anything beyond your current position. In the end, your attitude is more important than your occupation.
List all the things you have done in your lifetime for which you have been paid money (or, more correctly, “obtained” money). The Illuminati wants people with initiative, so don’t skip anything. Did you once give head to an old man for a much needed $10? Have you ever stolen from the weak or defenseless in order to survive? You should not be ashamed of actions such as these; life is not a game, nor is the New World Order.
Again, be thorough. You should list every single talent that you have, however insignificant it may seem to you. The Illuminati has diverse needs, and your diversity will get you noticed.
Don’t hold back, list them all – however perverse they may be. The Illuminati has many needs.
Question: Based on your current understanding, what is the purpose of the Illuminati Order?
This is the first “Question” on the Illuminati membership application form. If you feel you need a better understanding of the Illuminati and its purpose, read the books below (click on each book cover for more details). Once you have digested and fully understood this information, write an intelligent response to the above question.
Question: Do you agree with the purpose of the Illuminati Order, as you understand it?
Of course you do.
Question: Why do you want to be a member of the Illuminati Order?
Joining the Illuminati is not about getting laid or making money. It will help you, obviously, but that should not be your main motivation. Change, social justice, brotherly love, the future of humanity and the glory of the New World Order should be your goals.
Question: Are you interested in being contacted by other members?
This is a loaded question, so tread carefully. Most members closely guard their true identities, and idle gossip and chitchat are frowned up. State that you only want to be contacted by other members when it serves the greater goal of the Illuminati Order.
Provide a recent photograph of yourself.
Include a strong and mysterious photo of yourself. If you have a photo showing you with a powerful figure (for example, Barack Obama, Bill Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, Paulo Coelho, Lady Gaga or Bill Gates) then use it. They might be celebrity Illuminati members.
Will You Join the Illuminati?
Now that you have completed the Illuminati membership form, you must post it (see How to Contact the Illuminati link above) and wait for a response. You will have to patient: very patient.
It can take months or even years to be contacted by an Illuminati member. But always look for signs — everywhere. Sometimes the Illuminati will watch you for many months, observing your actions and judging if you have what it takes to be a member.
Always act with honor. Always be brave. The Illuminati is watching you. The eye is true.
Thank you, my friends. I wait with longing for the dawn of the New World Order.